By the way, I hate that stupid cat. (One sentence in and already I digress.)
I’m feeling grumpy because I just spent five hours (five!!) putting together two applications for jobs I’m pretty sure I don’t even want. Not pretty sure, damned sure. The five hours is the result of a 10-round, knock-down, drag-out fight with the stupid website (NeoGov.com) that was determined not to let me apply. My resume is done, my cover letters are almost rote by now, so all I had to do was answer three questions that were also terribly repetitive – about diversity, my ability to play nice with others, and my ability to work independently. Both positions are actually with the college I currently work for – and I know most of the people involved in the hiring and work process. This all smacks of a trap to get me to work a real job again.
As I write this, I’m wondering if NeoGov wasn’t actually on my side, sending up multiple red flags about the insanity of doing your best to get something you don’t want.
What brought all this on was a conversation with the husband over the weekend in which he confirmed (for the umpteenth time, but which I always refuse to hear) that he wants to continue working until full retirement age – another five years. Given that my job ends June 30, I was planning to kick back, eat bon bons and watch Honey Boo Boo while I painted my nails.
Actually, I’ve been working to put my eBay business back together and had hoped to take advantage of the time away from a “real” job to concentrate on other stuff (If you read my posts you will know that I have a list of things I’d like to do that’s long enough to choke a shredding machine.).
Not a week ago, I was completely jacked up on the idea of being self-employed again, and now, I feel …. guilty. I retired years ago and then finally went back to work on the advice of my therapist who thought I needed/still thinks I need human contact. Hmpff! Personally, I’m thrilled to talk with grocery store cashiers, people in the street (“Isn’t it a beautiful day??”) and any one else who comes my way. Isn’t that enough?
Off track, again. I retired early, several years ago, and then went back to work, part time, easy-peasy jobs. I survived but wasn’t really happy until I heard my current job was ending. Now, I’m feeling like I ought to be a trouper, ugh, and work until my husband is ready to quit.
Should I be feeling guilty about this even if no one is suggesting that I do? *sigh* I’m so tired of doing what someone else wants me to do or what I think someone else wants me to do. I’m fairly sure I came out of the womb saying that. Or, who knows, maybe I delivered in full grumpy-face.
Let’s take this to Common Sense Court.