Posted in cats, life


Seems like just a day or two ago that I posted some pictures of my cats in all kinds of ridiculously comfortable positions, among them this one of Mooch.

And now I find myself having to post the picture below, also of Mooch, and say that we lost him today. It was a tough choice but he’d developed a brain tumor that was causing him to lose his balance and fall over.

As any animal owner knows, it’s the hardest decision you have to make. And you swear you’ll never bring another one into your home and your heart because it’s so very hard to have to put them down or see them die. But you always do.

They bring so much joy to your life when they are with you. Mooch was with us eight exasperating years. He was feral when we found him, lurking about our back deck, hoping for food. I’m a sucker for all cats and immediately started feeding him. My cats loved him and they’d all play together. But then, even in snow, he’d go back to the woods and wetlands behind our house to sleep at night.

He’d be back in the morning for more handouts and to lounge about the deck with our other cats. We finally captured him, had him neutered, chipped, and got his shots and he began to mellow a bit. He joined us on walks to the beach or through the wetlands with the other cats, and eventually began coming in the house to sleep now and then.

But being an adult feral when we got him, he was never going to be completely tamed. And, while he eventually deigned to sleep on our bed at night, in eight years we were never allowed to touch him, except for those once a year vet visits that meant trauma for him and an emergency room visit for me.

This time, the cost to him and to us became too much. Aside from the actual costs, I just couldn’t bear the idea of putting him through repeated vet visits because he got so completely traumatized each time. So, today I stood in the vet’s office crying and finally said, no, let’s put him down.

They sedated him and for the first time in our lives together, I got to really pet him, rub his head and belly and that special place on his back that he’d gotten too fat to reach himself. I was there for the end and glad for the chance even though it was painful. I didn’t want him to die without the opportunity pet him and let him know how much he meant to me.

I like to think we both won in the end. He had a safe and loving home for eight years and I finally got to touch him! I had seven years of knowing the sweetest, most frustrating cat I’ll likely ever own and I loved every minute of it.

Bye, sweet Mooch.



I'm a writer making my way through life and offering observations as I go. Old enough to know better but that doesn't stop me.

12 thoughts on “Mooch

  1. I just helped one of my dogs die and it’s one of the most heartbreaking experiences. I know what you are going through and the hole in your house right now. In the end, you both lucked out by finding each other. It’s the same the price tag ends up being so steep every time

    1. Isn’t it the truth. You love them so much and just know that some day you’re going to have to face losing them. Thanks for the thoughts.

  2. Aww I’m so sorry for your loss. They become little members of the family 🙂 my dog Kizzy suffered from a brain tumour and had to be put down. Was the most harrowing thing but it was for the best. She was in pain. Cherish the great memories :))

    1. Thanks. I came straight home from the vet and wrote it. I just needed to say it and new this would be a comfortable place to do so.

  3. I’m so sorry…I know it all too well. It’s been over 2 years, but the emotions come up like it was yesterday just reading this. You said it best yourself, the comfort comes in knowing you gave the best life for him that you could while he was here. My heart goes out to you.

  4. I am so sorry. It’s never easy to make this decision. That sense in Marley and Me when he says to Marley …you’ll have to let me know when it’s time. It breaks my heart. I’m thinking of you and Mooch.

    1. Thank you. I remember once in a similar situation, I asked my vet to let me know when it was time and she told me Taddy (my cat) would let me know. He did, of course, and just like the others I’ve lost, it was so hard. This time I have two others in my household so they are getting an inordinate amount of affection!

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