Posted in humor, people

Aaack! What day is it and where’s my “wife”??

I’ve been meaning to post for a couple of days, but I can’t seem to find time to do anything. I think the main distraction is the sunny weather and the garden that is rampantly blooming (flowers and weeds). It’s sooooo great to be spending time outside! When you live in the Pacific Northwest you make the best use of every sunny day (or minute) that you can.

But in addition to the garden and all the purchasing, potting, planting and replanting, weeding, trimming, pressure washing, barbecuing (Is this really the correct spelling for this word now?), mixing Coconut Mojitos, and just sitting in the sun basking, an absolutely humongous list of stuff needs to be done.

For instance,

Husband has surgery (again) tomorrow and I need to get a “clear liquid diet” in the house to keep him from eating peanut butter, popcorn and chips. He’d live on those three items if you didn’t shove a vegetable into some dip for him now and then.

Also related to the surgery, I need to pack up my laptop and find my latest book draft (which has been languishing . . . uh, somewhere, for months) so I can spend the day in the outpatient surgery department, where sadly the view will be somewhat less stellar than the Ionian Sea or even Mon Ami.

I have a second interview for a part time job on Thursday and I’ve got to do some studying and get some clothes together. It sounds like one I’d enjoy and it’s just 20 hours a week with two months off a year. I want to put away some money so we can go to Italy next year. (Just a visit, not the “real” move. Husband still refuses to quit before he hits full retirement.)

Haircut. Why does this stuff continue to grow? I just get the cut I want and bam! It’s too long again. Not to mention all the other hairy parts of the body where it’s always grown that need to be shaved, and the charming new places it begins to grow when you age. Don’t get me started.

And, No fewer than 10 niggly little things like: request some medical records; send a detailed receipt for my husband’s a crown to our ever demanding Wage Works card (I mean, really, what do they think you spend $680 on a the dentist? Lingerie?); get my car in for the recall notice I got a month ago; exchange a hose bib for the one I should have gotten to begin with; and laundry — ok, this is another one. Why is there always so much of it and why isn’t it ever finished? It piles up as fast as faster than my hair grows.

“Let me just whip up a treat full of veggies that tastes like chocolate for you while you put your feet up and relax!”

The prompt for this rant was a comment I got on another post from Jenna (over at Daffodils and Dishwater) who said she needed a secretary to take notes for her writing.  My response was that I needed a wife who took care of all kinds of stuff — all the errands and the “to do” list, plus cleaning house and  cooking fabulous, healthy meals. Jenna got me to thinking that having a wife who also followed me around and took notes — things to do, things to get my husband or someone else to do, ideas for my next post, amazingly brilliant ideas I have for my book that always seem to get lost before I get them to paper,  and other “essential” items.

Ever wish for a “wife,” a personal assistant, a secretary or something along those lines? I’m thinking about writing a classified ad for my dream wife — but I’m really busy and I don’t know who would want the job anyway!



I'm a writer making my way through life and offering observations as I go. Old enough to know better but that doesn't stop me.

14 thoughts on “Aaack! What day is it and where’s my “wife”??

  1. I have told my husband so many times that I need a wife, I think he’s starting to get worried. 🙂

    I hope your hubby’s surgery goes well, and good luck with the job interview!

    1. Thanks, I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s just a bother to be doing this twice — not so much for me as for him. And, I’m so happy to know that someone else asks for a wife besides me! My husband has taken to suggesting things for the ad I plan to write. Unfortunately, most of them are not G-rated!

  2. Thank you for mentioning WageWorks…Sometimes I think the people who work there must be robots and not human beings. They always made me feel as if I was clothes shopping at my doctor’s. So, last year, I decided I was better off putting money aside on my own instead of re-activating the stupid card. Monday is my day “off” – I spend it doing exactly the kind of stuff you just listed – after a while I start craving work….

    1. You make me laugh . . . after a while I start craving work!! And, yes, what is it with Wage Works?? Next year, I hear, with the possibility of the new health care reforms, we may not have any kind of Wage Works issues. As long as someone doesn’t always question why my dentist charges so much for shoes and purses, I’ll be fine! Thanks for the comment!

  3. This is awesome! Did you know that you can Tweet to WageWorks on Twitter? They are much faster at responding there than anywhere else. Just thought I would pass that little nugget along.

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