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Waiting for Salieri

I speak for all mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their patron saint….Mediocrities everywhere… I absolve you… I absolve you… I absolve you… I absolve you… I absolve you all ~ Antonio Salieri (character, Amadeus)

Antoni Salieri (character)

I’ve just spent the last couple of hours reading the blogs that I follow. Mostly because I can’t find time to do it on a regular basis, so  reading once or twice a week leads to spending two or more hours at it.

And, come on man! I love to read other blogs but I’m overwhelmed when I finish. Can all these people possibly be funnier, more talented, crazier, more sarcastic, more artistic, better writers and well, just more and better than I am? Sadly, yes! It’s true.

Picture my name here

In reading the blogs I begin to realize why I haven’t published a book, why no one thinks I’m funny except my husband, why I’ll never attend the opening night of an exhibition of my photos, why I’ll never be besties with Martha, why I’ll never have a business that sells stuff I made myself, why I should eat more chocolate and go back to bed, and why I always come in second in the Academy of Sarcasm’s annual awards poll. (Anyone who reads my blog knows I deserve the big prize in the latter.)

My inner narrator has spent the better part of my life reminding that I’m not worthy. I’m just not the best at anything. I am of Salieri’s minions — still waiting to be absolved.

Mediocrity doesn’t mean average intelligence, it means an average intelligence that resents and envies its betters.  Ayn Rand

(Uh, yeah. And, what’s your point, Ayn Rand?)

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But, honestly, being mediocre is really ok. While writing about mediocrity a few years back I determined that the mediocrities of the world play a vital part in life. We exist because without us all you brilliant, talented, over-achieving types wouldn’t have anyone to be better than! I serve my purpose, humbly.

So, I’ll just stand over here, out of the photos, hidden by a bush. See me? I’m just waiting here until Salieri appears to absolve me, and then I’ll join you.You’ll recognize me, I’ll be the one with the Sarcasm Oscar in my hand posing with other celebrities.

Update: I seem to have left an incorrect impression with this post. I was really just trying to say that even if I consider myself mediocre, it matters not. Not everyone can be “first” at everything and that doesn’t mean that everyone who isn’t first should jump off a bridge, immediately. There’s room for all of us. I just admire the people I think are really exceptional at what they do.  Please don’t call 9-1-1 for me; I’ll be back again tomorrow. Suffer!

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Author:

I'm a writer making my way through life and offering observations as I go. Old enough to know better but that doesn't stop me.

19 thoughts on “Waiting for Salieri

  1. Now that you’ve gotten that out of the way, get back to writing your story. Only you can tell your story. That makes you the very best at doing it! Recognition is nice, but it’s not validation of worth. Kim Kardasian is recognized, but … All joy in telling Emma’s story! HF

    1. Thanks, Sillyliss, I feel kind of bad that everyone is telling me that I’m really ok — I am just so blown away by how much talent is out there. I’ve always allowed myself to be too caught up in what other people think of me, and I have problems separating myself from that critique. Thanks for the comment; glad to know you like the blog.

  2. Mediocre?! If you were mediocre, would we keep coming back? Me thinks not.

    And really, who needs the pressure of 10,000 hits a day? I’ll keep my noticeably smaller number of site hits if it means I can continue having fun exchanges with witty and interesting bloggers. 🙂

    1. You’re right, and so nice to say it. Like I said to Sillyliss, it’s a matter of allowing myself to get all caught up in what other people think of me. And, are there really bloggers who get 10,000 hits a day??! I’m just excited that I’m getting close to 50 followers! Thanks for the comment.

  3. You are falling into the common trap of fear, one I am intensely familiar with. For me, comparing myself to others, becomes just another excuse for not writing.
    Writing should be for yours and its sake alone – the rest will take care of itself. Persevere, my dear…

    1. And, you are right. I tend to glean a lot of my self-worth from the opinions of others, it’s true, and it’s just a nasty habit. I can’t help but read, enjoy and then compare myself to others. Heck, I even do it with F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, and Tennessee Williams — three of my favorites!

      I like reading all the blogs, but will continue to write, no matter what. While I’m “good” at being mediocre, I’m also really good at thinking there’s room for me out there. I will persevere. Thank you!

  4. I write because not because I’m good at it, but because I enjoy it, so selflishly i write only for myelf and if people like yourself comment even better.
    I’ve been blogging for a longtime now, and enjoy all manner of blogs, as it’s really brave of people to put themselves out there to share thier inner thoughts, or just their everyday lives, recipes etc. your here and part of the ongoing dialogue, keep doing what you do, and there is nothing mediocre about that.

    1. Thank you for the kind words! I keep writing and all the other stuff because I really like it, you’re right. I think what I was trying to say is that “mediocre” or anything less than first or best or whatever really is ok. I always think about Olympians and how obsessed we all are with who gets “first” — forget all the other worthy candidates, first is all that matters. In the real world, it’s not.

  5. Now why, with all the great blogs to read, would I come back to a mediocre blog? And I keep coming back. We are our own hashest critic so turn off yours for a bit and let other people determine if you are worth reading. TIme is precious and with so much to do, I read your blog… ….you’re worth reading.

    1. So glad you think the blog is worth reading — it’s definitely worth writing, even if it is just for me. And, yes, I am my own harshest critic. Every year I make a promise to myself that I will submit something, somewhere And, I’m still making that promise, year after year after year!!

  6. 80% of the population is middle of the road. Imagine life with out them. All the C’s in the world make up the world. I love your blog and I come back to read it. 🙂

    1. I’m with you. I think without the C’s there couldn’t be all the A’s, or for that matter, at the F’s! Thanks for the validation, glad you like the blog.

  7. Keep writing, please! I am new to this world of blogs as my own will bear proof of. I write everyday but find that having something worthy of posting for the world to read is at best rare! I look forward to following you and reading your stories.

    1. I’ll definitely keep writing. And, you, too — don’t worry about what’s worthy.You kind of have to look at likes and comments as the icing on the cake. The cake is for you. Thanks for the comment!

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