Posted in this&that

Reverse psychology: Next year I resolve to GAIN weight

Been perusing some of my old blogs. Here from “cup of chat,” January 24, 2011: New Year’s resolutions

I hate the idea of making resolutions at the New Year. First of all, does anyone resolve to do anything that’s even remotely possible? Second, how many people put “lose weight” at the top of the list?

Resolutions are somebody’s idea of a good laugh and guaranteed failure. And, if you’re going to make them, for goodness sake, make one or two, not ten, and make them specific and achievable. Have a good idea that you can actually accomplish them. Success is so much more fun than failure.

Don’t set yourself up to fail on the first day of a new year. I think if you’re going to bother with them you ought to make them on your birthday and not announce them to the world. There’s nothing like your sister coming back at you on January 3 as you are eating a hot fudge sundae, and pointing out that you didn’t even make it through three full days on your resolution to “stop eating sugar.”

As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten a bit wiser about my resolutions. I make them on my birthday and make one or two doable. So, while the world is failing at their ridiculously high resolutions bar, I’m several months into mine and not tempted to eat that damned sugar. (Makes me feel a bit superior and god knows I love that feeling!)

While I probably ought to be cleansing my body of sugar, I’m not even attempting it. Instead, I’m working on better health, in general, and my efforts began last summer. I was doing well. Up to walking four or five miles a day, spending some time at the gym, and thinking about the things that went into my mouth.

I gave myself a head start by only drinking Glucerna and eating power bars (all healthy and all of the 40-40-30 make up) for about three weeks and then slowly adding food back in. I lost 25 lbs. in those first few weeks, learned to love exercising again, and felt great. New shoes, and plans for walking the 60-mile, 2-day Susan G. Komen walk in Seattle next November.

Then, out of the blue, I get a cold. Well, no big deal, right? It shuts me down for a week and then appears to be going away. Near the end of the second week, the husband comes home with a cold, and pow! I’ve got it again, worse, and I was dragging. The unbelievable part, however, was that by the sixth week of this crap, I had yet another cold and had it twice as bad. Then, I lost my voice. Man, I don’t get colds. What was this? True, there were lots of nasty, sneezing, hacking people in town (besides me), but why, if I was so healthy did I suddenly get sick?

I like to think it’s because my body was in shock. I wasn’t sleeping enough  and wasn’t getting a good daily dose of ice cream, or brownies, or chocolate chip cookies (the very words make me drool), or even Starbuck’s Cranberry Bliss Bars and Salty Caramel Mochas. Alas. Not so, my brain tells me, as my lips pout and my stomach cries.

At least I wasn’t gaining weight, which was another reason to be smug. “See, I can eat anything I want and still maintain my weight and my blood sugar in healthy ranges!” (As if….)

The upshot is that I didn’t exercise for six weeks. Near the end of that time it was almost Christmas and I decided, phooey, I’d just eat and pick it up again at the beginning of the year. (Sort of a sideways step into a new year’s resolution I realize now. Hmm.) In that last week of the year, I gained six lbs.

I fudged a couple of more weeks–these as the husband went walking every day of the week, rain or shine, at about 5:00 am. *snorkle*  I just went back to sleep. Too cold. Too dark. Too everything.

And, now I’m attempting to crawl back onto the wagon. Sadly the wagon is still running at five miles a day and the body, first day back, could barely manage two. And, I’m back to Glucerna and bars until I can knock off three more pounds and get back to where I was.

In the early stages of exercising again, I’ve lost all my ability, conditioning and most of all, desire, to do it at all. I’m still in the “I hate to exercise” mode and likely will be for a couple of weeks. This is a bitch. But, I know I’ve got to do it, for my weight, my mood, and my blood sugar.

So, this morning I was off to the gym, forgetting the cardinal rule of organized health facilities, “don’t go in January.” Seriously. And, now we’re back to new year’s resolutions.

Everyone and his/her kids and grandparents joins the gym in January, if they are going to join one, because…………? They made a new year’s resolution to “lose weight.” And, they are religiously fanatic about it. They are there every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at all the typical hours, pre-8:00 am and post-5:00 pm. And, every machine is occupied and the track is bumper to bumper!

So, ok, I currently have the luxury of going any hours and days I want. But, I’m telling you, this year the WHOLE town must have resolved to lose weight because even this morning at 8:30 am, a typically slow time, the place was jammed. Even the pool, which is normally vacated at this hour, was full of do-gooders. What the hell happened to losing the resolution battle on January 3???

Looks to me like it might be a great time to take a fluff on the exercise thing again  …. it is winter, by the way, and where I am there aren’t a lot of days over 35 degrees, or with any hint of sun, so no regular outside exercise. However, with a February 20 dietician appointment on the calendar (where I will no doubt hear about how I’m killing myself via diabetes) my brain says I should loathe to eat chocolate chip cookies and sleep or read all day, every day. Should.I hate “shoulds” but that’s another day’s topic.

I’m going to keep my resolution for this year (only a few months left to go) and next birthday I’m resolving, with all my heart, to GAIN weight in the coming year and see if I can push my fasting glucose to 900!

Bet I can do it, too.

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I'm a writer making my way through life and offering observations as I go. Old enough to know better but that doesn't stop me.

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