Sometimes we think we have all the time in the world to say and do things we want to. We don’t.
It often takes the passing of a friend, or pet, or wonderful opportunity for us to realize that it’s just an illusion to think things are “timeless.” When you recognize something you could have done or should have or wanted to do, or realize someone is gone forever, it leaves a void in your heart. Sadness is too weak a word to describe it. Why don’t we learn more from those instances?
Why, after some time passes, do we often find ourselves there again?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about old friends, opportunities I’ve turned my back on, things I want to do that I believe I never will–either I’m not good enough or am afraid or even just too lazy to try. I’ve decided that if I’m going to take this “living” thing seriously I need to take cake of some of those things, wishes, and wants that are still out there. It’s too like for friends who are gone, and even some opportunities, but do I spend my life feeling bad for things missed or do I make new opportunities and new friends and plow ahead? I expect I’d feel better if I remembered the missed experiences and used them to make the new ones even more meaningful in my life. Kind of a bit of both.
So, here’s the start of a “bucket list” for lack of a better word.
1. Learn to swim. Yup, I don’t know how to swim any more. I know the mechanics, having learned them early on, but I lost the ability to swim when I nearly drowned around the age of 8 or 9. I will paddle in a pool, ride a small wave or two, and float forever, but I no longer swim.
2. Submit something I’ve written, even if just to a peers critique page to begin with, because how will I ever know if I could be successful writing unless I do? I so fear rejection that I’ll never know if I would even be rejected because I just don’t try. How sad.
More to come. The list has just begun.